How I deal with frustration

OCTOBER 09, 2018

Hi everyone! Today, I wanted to talk to you about something I feel so often. Frustration is a feeling of anger and stress one has when one can't achieve or get something he or she wants, for different reasons : lack of time, of means, bad/not sufficient response from people one's dealing with... 

My own frustration mostly comes from my lack of patience sometimes and perfectionism. 

There are lots of things I'd like to do regarding my work and my blog, but I never get enough time to do so and often have to cope with results my extreme perfectionism can hardly handle, leading to more stress and anger. 

As so many people, I have to deal with multiple causes leading to frustration. My students won't always react the way I expect when I spent hours planning a great project for them. We've been looking for an new home for nearly two years and already missed a few opportunities. We had to forget about some of our favorite ideas for our wedding. People keep saying "no" wouldn't answer, sometimes I feel like I work for nothing... 

In my case, even my hobby can be a source of frustration. For instance, I have right now so many autumnal outfits I need to take pictures of. I also have lesson plans to do, Maxime isn't always available, not to mention Fall weather that's been unpredictable to say the least. Hobbies often get put second in life priorities and in the case of blogging, this has made me lose so many great opportunities and chances to develop which is frustrating as hell. 

So, with to many frustrating aspects in my life, like so many of you, I do try to find tips and tricks to deal with it. Here are the ones that work best!

1 -  Distraction

The easiest way to deal with frustration is not thinking about the source of it. Focus on other projects, live in the moment and ignore things that bring you anger and stress. I took the habit of mentally "tossing" things that are useless worrying about!

2 - Keep track of past successes and things I already got

This is probably the best trick ever regarding coping with frustration. Since this feeling comes from what I have not, I try to focus as much as I can on what I have, what I achieved. I write it down and try to be grateful for it !

3 - Remember that this will eventually work out.

When I look back to previous things I found frustrating, stressing or upsetting at the time, I like to know that they all ended up well (or at least just came to an end, which is good as well), or that if things were difficult, there always was a way out. This helps me find hope and patience whenever I feel down. I also like to ask myself : "will this matter a year from now"?

4 - Accept that perfection doesn't exist

Frustration sometimes comes from the fact that we can't get it all, or that despite all the efforts we put in a project, it may not end up the way we'd like it to. Accepting the result, accepting that things may not be possible and that failure is okay sometimes helps with frustration.

5 - Treats !

Rewarding myself for all milestones I've reached has become one of my habits. It can either be a little gift, some time I could take of, a nice time at the spa or the restaurant. This helps reinforcing the feeling of achievement and give me something to look forward to when I'm facing difficult times. Sometimes, I get myself these treats as a compensation when I didn't manage to do something or whenever I have to be exceptionally patient!

6 - Talk about it

Talking of your negative feelings often helps letting go of it, or at least get some support. I have an amazing friend who never judges me tell me that what I feel "is nothing". I thing this is extremely important to have someone in your circle who acknowledges your feelings to helps you analyse and find solutions. 

7 - Fight stress

To all of us who suffer from stress and anxiety, I do know that it's easier said than done. "You should relax" is a phrase I've so often heard (and made me want to punch the person in the face!). Suffering from anxiety means that one feels thing a lot deeper than "normal" people would, and this is especially true when it come to frustration. This is a vicious circle, stress and frustration nourishing each other. I try to find ways to unwind, such as deep breathing, meditation, exercise, have a good night sleep. This won't always be enough but it's definitely better than nothing!